Life Up North

It's cold 'n' stuff.

Location: Aylesbury/Scarborough, United Kingdom

See occupation.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I open this blog with a startling discovery:

Rim is in the dictionary. I don't mean the rim of a glass type of rim either. Also, so is fuckwit. This is not a joke, there was a boring Maths lesson in an English room... The rest is self-explanitory.

Anyhow, this is the first blog in a while so I update you with stuff from my life. I have broadband again, although not yet on m y computer so i will once again become ever-present on this old inter-web thing you're all so fond of. Also, the rugby season has drawn to a close, thus ridding me of my excuse to get pissed on a wednesday... Oh well, nevermind ay? At l;east I got a try.

I am still unemployed, i have drawn the conclusion that i have some flaw somewhere which means i cannot get a job... maybe I really am an illegal immigrant called Chavez like my parents told me........ nah.

Ahh broadband, i love it. It means that if i Were to pick up the phone right now... like this *picks up phone* ...
And my computer doesn't explode into a serious error notice. Its a lovely feeling knowing that your computer isn't going to spontaneously combust.

On a less juvenile note, I am really bored. My ps2 seems to be suffering from old age as it's beginning to pack up on me, which is annoying. I don't have the money to afford a new one, or my new guitar that will come... the second of never, or the many cd's i want. Poorness sucks.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

This will be updated soon.. not now though as I'm not there yet.

Head over to for my incessant babble.


I'm not here yet.. give me time...

About two months, give or take.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I'm tired.

I'm tired of stripping wallpaper and painting walls
I'm tired of packing up things so I can move
I'm tired of making sure my room is spotless
I'm tired of D.T. coursework and pursuing 'The best can achieve'
I'm tired of being bollocked when I've done nothing wrong
I'm tired of parents treating teenagerdom as a disease
I'm tired of the old ways of thinking that people just can't let go
I'm tired of having to do what others tell me
I'm tired of stupid people
I'm tired of having to tolerate people I hate
I'm tired of being tired al the time
I'm tired of having anything I say shot down in flames
I'm tired of small children
I'm tired of restraining myself from hitting people
I'm tired of being laughed at
I'm tired of being ignored
I'm tired of my body not working properly
I'm tired of not understanding people
I'm tired of being told to 'be sociable'
I'm tired of revision
I'm tired of shades of blue
I'm tired of not being black
I'm tired of not having any money
I'm tired of arguments
I'm tired of intolerant people (oh the irony!)
I'm tired of trading insults
I'm tired of not being able to cry
I'm tired of being treated like a five year old
I'm tired of moaning all the time... and so probably are you

Friday, April 09, 2004

One thing I did forget to add. At lunch yesterday I brought the fruit that is compulsory at my house *cough* bollocks *cough*. We were hungry, but when aren't we?
Anyhow I brought two (rather small) apples for me and my brother to eat. To which my brother said, "Well one's these big definately didn't hit Einstein in the head..."

A few minutes.. and some choice words later my brother realised the error of his ways.

I think it's fitting to now quote Einstein, "There are only two infiite things in this world. The universe and human stupidity, but I'm not sure about the former." It may be a little off, but it's the best I can do off the top of my head.

Laters (see below for real post)

Thursday, April 08, 2004

I'm not one to refuse a pretty lady...

So when Ollie asks me to blog, blog I must do.


So what have I been up to ya big ol cockney barrel of monkeys. The answer: Revision

The ones among you that know me the most wil most likely have burned your tounge on your take-out food or fallen off your chair when reading that. Actually, you'll probably be out having a social life in your holidays and not sat inside your house reading this tepid drivel.
...Anyhoo, my life this week has consisted of eating, sleeping and socialising. Well, I went out on wednesday and spent the majority of my life two places that I spend most of my time in. For those of you not with cryptic battery packs added to your brain (God missed them out on some of the later models, apparently they make you explode...pfft what does he know) I've been at mine or rachael's. It's been a good week, especially the getting up late parts... that is something I enjoy a lot :-D.

As for revision, yes I'm back on the point. (Aren't tangents great?) Revision is especially hard for men to do. We do not have the capacity to stare at books for over a five minute period, whereas women can. This I know is a crass generalisation for many of the female of the species cannot revise either, and to the i say.. Kudos! We should not be revising, we should be out doing crazy drugs, having crazy sex and enjoying the sunshine. That is .. if there were any sunshine. "April showers" my family call it. "God laughing at us" is a more fair description. He is a twisted individual isn't he? I can actually imagine the scenario in heaven:

St. Peter: Aaaah summer's here again God, finally the people of Britain can leave their houses.

St. Paul: Yes, especially after that dreadful rain they've been getting.

St. Peter: They must love the break, not having to wear three layers of worrying about getting wet.

God: *Evil glint enters eye* Heh..heh.heh..

St. Peter: Erm... Sir?

God: *Kicks black clouds* Fly my pretties, fly...

Or something. Oh and in reference to the black clouds, they are not being kicked because they are balck but because they have rain contained within them. It was no a racial slur in any way, shape or form. Bloody political correctness.

On another note, I bought 'magic and medicine' by the Coral, it's brilliant. Yes. No critique here, just telling you to buy it now, or wait until woolies have one of those copies with no cover or book like I did. On the vein of music, I have 2.50 left in my bank account (it is related, honest!) with which to buy an acoustic guitar to replace my now infamous crappy one that I leant to the kids on D of E. Heh, suckers. The cheapest acoustic (although quite a nice one) is 79.99pounds. Hence my dilemma. I could buy a crappy one from argos for twenty quid... but I don't even have that :-S. Ah well.. c'est la vie.

I return to my computer five minutes later, forgetting that I had been writing a blog. The mind works in mysterious ways, doesn't it? Where was I now... nope lost it. Ah well, Just watched finding nemo again. Quite possible one of the best animated fish films of all time, second only to Sharky and George, I know it wasn't a film.. but it doesn't matter.

Anyhoo, enjoy your Easter with all your eggs while I have my .. two at most to look forward to. Don't get fat now, it'll only cause havoc with your health later in life.

The on the call Davi- ..erm Keith. Yes, Keith.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

What have I been up to I hear.... no one cry. Well I'm gonna tell ya anyway because I have nowt else to do. On Wednesday I went to "play" rugby sevens at Roslyn Park in Londium. This was the national tournament and over a few days has 837 games. We started the day by having all thirteen of us pile into the green minibus, for those of you not aware of the green mionibus, it's propbably older than most of your houses. It has one bar in the roof that rattles... now when i say "rattle".. I mean vibrates back and forwards rapidly causing a very loud noise, similar to a jackhammer. Well, thats what it sounded like at 7a.m. anyway. This would happen everytime we stopped in traffic and the only way to remedy this was to hold the bar steady with your arm. Suffice to say, in M25 London traffic, there were some sore arms by the end of the journey.

The journey weren't too bad as I had stolen the seat that actually has leg room and so I didn't develop deep vein thrombosis or it's long distant cousin .. death (why not?). However we were quite a way into the jounrey when we realised our 13... was supposed to be a 14. "Where's Payne?" Came the question from the back of the bus. "Well he's right ... erm... shit. Sir, we forgot Payne." We phoned Payne with one of the phones and pulled over into the Layby, fifteen minutes (and much rattling from the bar) later, he arived and the journey continued.

The day drew on, much as days tend to do and it was not long before the first game... which I didnt play in, but fret not! I told myself, I would play in the second. And I did... not that I did much =/. We lost all of our three games and my contributions to the match I played in was to hand one person into the ground and offload the ball.... and being kicked in the face. It was an... eventful day to say the least... Oh, on a .. kind of related subject, I have now been playing rugby since year 9 for the school.. and over that period the only trys I have scored have been for house and in training. For the school, I have scored a grand total of... *Drumroll*...

No Trys, much to Fosters disgust. I have got colours for sport twice, but I've never scored *seethes*.... Ah well.

Anyway, that was a brief tale of my day of rugger (goes into old speak). It was a jolly spiffing time I must say, I almost felt like old Mortimer as he won on the 5 for 1 at Whitchester *dies*. We have just been told the topic of this years house writing is 'Survival', so thats gonna be fun. Now, how to write something about survival without incorporating guns...

Laters, I'm off to do the shiteload of work I now have amassed

Monday, March 22, 2004

Two minutes silence please... for the death of Cypress hill.

If the new single is anything to go by, gone are the days of blunts, bitches guns and copious amounts of drug abuse. Instead they have been replaced with what I can only say (with a heavy heart) to be ....*sighs*.... pop.
Instead of the good old raps in Valley of Chrome and Dr. Greenthumb and instead we have....

'Whats ya name, Whats ya number? I'd like to get to know you....'

Two minutes silence starting... now.